This blog is specially written for my only loved one..neoxueli
Today, i woke up in the morning, kept checking my phone for any sms..but i didnt receive any..was feeling down and dizzy, so i fell asleep again..woke up at 2.30am, cos brother on his music till very loud and keep singing, so i couldnt slp anymore. It's been so long since i slept till this late.
Woke up and played audition..kent pm'ed me and i went to play with him..actually planned to go out today to take a breath, and to think over whatever is happening these days..then i receive an sms from my dearest laopo, telling me that movie @ 6.50pm, to watch with joerh and josephine. I was really overjoyed, the sudden smile on my face is totally couldnt be described. So i quickly want to get changed, trying many different clothes then finally got the one im actually quite satisfied with and went out.
Reach orchard, den went to look for her..something happened inbetween but it's resolved after a while..we went to buy ice cream and walked down to cine for our movie..later on we found out that "Valentine's day" movie selling out very fast, even 9pm was left with the front 2 rows. So we choosed the 9pm slot as we wanted to go shopping.
After that, we went to longchamp at paragon to look for the coin pouch for my laopo, but end up couldnt find the one she likes..then we went to other branded boutique like coach, prada, miu miu, etc.. we settled out dinner at taka food court. After our dinner, we went back to cine for our movie. As it was still early, we went to arcade for some games, played once basketball game and the other game but i dunno wad's its called. so funny when my laopo played with josephine, both was laughing and shouting away! Then suddenly the thing is not sliding but couldnt fix..and its 9pm !
We went out to queue for our drinks..bought the drinks and went into the cinema hall. The movie was so sweet..i kept holding and hugging my laopo as she was so cold..and im giving her warm :) after the movie, josephine went home on her on and me, laopo and joerh went to take mrt. On the train, amos called joerh, then she chatted all the way with him and kept laughing..i tried to talk to laopo abt wad's happening, why things become like this..but it doesn't turn out right..
Hais..we took bus home in a silent mode..not knowing what to say to her..while walking home, i tried to talk to her again..about how i feel..and everything i could think of.. she cried.. and i really dunno wad to say..i tried to an wei her, and say whatever i can..but end up..i still couldnt get her point..what she was expecting my to say, i failed to do it until she hinted me..hais..im afriad..im afriad that she would leave me forever..i need her in my life..
Afterall..i dont know what to do...i dont know what i should be to keep her back..im lost once again..am i stupid? am i slow? i seriously already tried..i tried to change.. but i just couldnt do it..im sorry..but i understand your situation..i love you, xue li.. i never want you to leave me..